Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Your words are the greatest power you have. The words you choose and the use establish the life you experience. -Sonia Croquette
What words do you use when you speak of your dreams?
Do the words and messages that you use depend on who you’re talking to?
Unfortunately for my dreams, I’ve found that they do.
I have great aspirations for this blog and all that I can do to help large numbers of people.
I express this freely to others in the blogosphere, those who understand what I’m doing.
Unfortunately, I’ve noticed that I heavily censor myself when I speak to those who may not know about or understand my online presence – past and present colleagues who only know my corporate persona and family members.
After noticing that I do this, I started to ask myself why.
My answers are something like: They wouldn’t understand. They wouldn’t see it as a legitimate business. It wouldn’t hold the same weight in their eyes as a corporate job. I don’t want them to judge me.
Yikes! It appears that I don’t have the self-confidence I thought I had when it comes to people outside of my blogging comfort zone. I’m not really owning my goals and dreams.
There’s wisdom in being selective about the people to whom you reveal your dreams. We don’t want to invite ridicule to dampen our passions.
But how much do we limit our own thinking and dreaming (and acting) by pre-judging those around us and assuming that they can impact our dreams?
By assuming that others will think less of us because of our dreams, we are devaluing our dreams and ourselves.
I had a preconceived notion that anyone in my corporate circles wouldn’t possibly be interested in what I write about. Boy, was I wrong! When I finally opened up and spoke with other people I work with about the concepts I write about, I discovered new, deeper connections with these people.
Time To Get Serious About Your Life
Does your own internal censoring also limit the energy, focus and drive you put behind our dreams? You bet!
The more I’ve been reading about what it takes to create a wildly successful blog and online presence, the more I realize that I’ve been playing at the ‘hobby’ level.
It’s time to get serious. As the old saying goes: Piss or get off the pot. Fish or cut bait.
There are no overnight successes. People create their own luck and success by working their asses off longer than most other people.
They practice their craft every day because they love it and they want to be the best.
If practicing your craft every day sounds like a chore, you probably don’t have the passion to stick with it long enough to be successful. Either figure out how to be passionate about it or find a new craft.
Where’s The Balance?
Of course, if your goal is to simply be happy practicing at your current level, that’s an awesome place to be.
When I push myself hard and stress out about how much more I have to do and how much farther I need to go to get to my definition of success, I sometimes wonder why I’m doing it. If it’s all about the journey, I want to be happy along the way.
In my mind, I’m trying to balance a happy journey with successfully helping thousands of people as quickly as possible, all the while living my highest values.
Is it possible? Definitely. It’s simply a learning process to figure out how.
Simple Steps to Owning Your Dreams
• Get crystal clear about what your dreams are.
• Think about when you’ve realized your dreams. How do you describe yourself to others? What’s your elevator speech**? How do you feel every day?
• Do something – anything – toward your dreams every day. Repeat your elevator speech to yourself.
• Practice your craft every day.
• Be bold enough to tell anyone about your dreams with passion and without concern about how they might judge you.
One day you’ll wake up and notice that you’ve been living your dream without even realizing it. I did.
Live your dreams!
**The Elevator Speech
The next time someone asks what you do, don’t answer with the dull and boring, “I’m a coach, teacher, manager, accountant….” When people hear this, it goes in one ear and out the other, eliciting no response.
What if you could raise an eyebrow of interest when you respond to this question?
Formulate a response that includes the following:
“Do you know how…” (Name two or three problems that are common among your ideal prospects.)
“Well, what I do is…” (Briefly tell them how you solve each of those problems while creating curiosity.)
For example, mine might be: Do you know how people get to a point in their lives when they think they should be happy and they’re not? Well, what I do is show them how they can be happy regardless of their current circumstances.
Most people will respond by asking me how I do this. It starts a conversation.
What’s your “dream life” elevator speech?
Check out my latest guest post at Tess Marshall’s The Bold Life where I describe a gut-wrenching event that happened to me and how I overcame the fear: Fear Is Now My Friend.
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The Mindful Living Guide
Paige: I have tried to work myself crazy in the past and that did not go so well. I know that my journey is going to be a long one and so this time around I am also going to focus on enjoying it. I might not get as much work done, but that is ok because I am not going to stress myself out. Whatever it may be it can be done tomorrow.
My key is to have fun and make this journey a happy one.
That’s an awesome attitude William! As soon as I start to notice myself thinking that I’m not doing “enough,” I stop and ask myself what “enough” is anyway? Am I making up my own unrealistic definition of how much is enough? Am I trying to follow someone else’s definition? Or am I just pushing myself too hard from old negative beliefs that tell me that I’m not enough – whatever that means. For me, it’s usually the last one.
I’ve finally come to realize, as you have, that there’s not much point in the whole journey if you don’t feel good along the way. And helping others is one of the best ways I’ve found of feeling better.
May your journey be absolutely amazing every day, William!!
Oh man have I been here! In fact, I just recently wrote a post about it. For a long time, I wouldn’t tell *ANYONE* about my blog. Not family, friends – nobody. 6 months and 2 daily views later, I decided that something had to change – I took the leap and started telling people. It started small, with just a couple of friends and family, and once the initial jitters wore off, I was telling everyone who would listen!
Finally owning my passion has given me greater confidence and so many connections I never would’ve made otherwise. It’s definitely a tough thing to do, but sooo worth it. Your idea of having an elevator pitch ready really helps! I need to fine-tune mine for sure, ’cause while my answer is better than it used to be, it’s still not crystal clear. Thanks for the reminder and the reassurance that I’m not alone! 🙂
Great for you Kaylee! Yes, it can be hard to put ourselves out there but, as you’ve found, it’s soooo worth it! I spent a year with 54 readers until I made some big changes.
Your elevator speech will always change as you change and as you see the many benefits that you provide to people.
Keep doing what you’re doing and keep pushing your limits!
My soul sister speaks again!
I’ve been struggling with this exact issue for a while now. And just recently I’m claiming my dream, claiming who I am and what I do, and it’s value. It requires a bit of explaining for some folks who aren’t so familiar with blogging and the online entrepreneurial adventure, but that explaining is building my muscles. Still working on the ‘elevator speech’. But it’s getting closer. I know that I’m passionate about connecting people, and helping women look and feel their radiant, vibrant best, while finding and living their dream!
Thanks for yet another inspirational read!
Thanks so much Sarah! We seem to be “coming into our own” at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth all the explaining for those who don’t understand blogging. Pick our niche and stick with it!
I love your new site!! Your launch series on self-care includes some amazing women!! I think I see an awesome ebook coming out of that. Congrats!! You’re definitely fine-tuning your True Self and letting everyone know about it. Bravo!!
Dear Paige,
A timely post. This is precisely what I’m focusing on. The truth is when we pre-judge who will understand us, we are really judging ourselves. When I became an Ordained Interfaith Minister with the title of Reverend, I was embarrassed to tell a lot of my friends. And I didn’t. I hid a piece of myself from them and ME. It took sometime before I began to unfold and let out the word. Friends of mine laughed at me. They didn’t understand…which at first bothered me…no more. Like anything else, when a person doesn’t show interest….one question is all it takes…..I don’t even think about pursuing a meaningful conversation with them. Over the past year, I’ve become more comfortable and open about a meaningful thing in my life. And guess what? The world has responded with abundance and the magic of it surprises me everyday.
The truth is that once we become comfortable in our own skin, and stake our flag our for everyone to see, we become more authentically aligned with ourselves. It is an ongoing process, isn’t it? xxoo-Fran
It says something about friends (and family) who can only accept us for who they want us to be or what they expect. True friends accept each other for who they are, not what they are or do.
I have also found it to be very true that the more we get comfortable and align with our true selves and share that with the world, the more the world aligns with us and life becomes magical. There’s much less resistance all around. And, yes, it’s definitely an ongoing process – peeling the layers from an onion. <3
Paige,
Great article and I love the elevator speech.
Don’t hide your light – I know I do it too!
xoxo
Thank you so much Angela! The elevator speech has made such a difference for me in so many situations.
You’ve got such a bright light too! You’re awesome! Keep shining!!
Our dreams are often nothing more than our brain trying to entertain itself, or sort out the thoughts of the day into what is important, and what is not. As our brain sorts through these thoughts some come forward in the form of dreams, intertwining with other thoughts that our brain is tossing around.
I think our dreams are the messages we receive from our intuition or Higher Self. These usually wreak havoc on our brains (aka monkey mind) because they’re usually not logical and orderly. Our brains are too stiff to come up with such wonderful things. Then our brains come up with all kinds of reasons why are dreams should be considered rubbish. I prefer to consider my brain’s rantings as the rubbish.
Excellent post Paige – BRAVO for living the dream!
When I read this I thought of my adult daughter – she has been passionate about publishing a novel for over 6 years – she works everyday at her craft, deligently, without regret, without fear and in total JOY for her DREAM and her PASSION. She is happy and she is living her dream at the age of 29! I sent her this post for at times people don’t understand – she doesn’t care, she keeps writing with love!
In gratitude,
Nancy
That’s amazing Nancy! You’ve obviously been an awesome role model for her. Imagine what the world would be like if we could all live and practice that passionately every day! What difference does it make what anyone thinks, as long as we’re happy doing what we want to do? Thanks for sharing this and BRAVO to your daughter!!
I love those simple steps you have shared in this post. I love the fact that those little things can go a long way, especially if we do it consistently.
Doing anything consistently can make huge changes. Just think of the Grand Canyon – just a little water washing by every day for thousands of years. The habits we practice every day create our lives. Thanks for your comment Susan!
Time to get serious. Piss or get off the pot! Oh Paige my Dear again we share commonalities!
My realization is that I have made quite a few dreams come to fruition. Dreams that I know many are amazed by, they’ve told me so. But I’ve got more. And I’ve got it all within me. I’ve been studying for years. I even know down deep inside it can be a reality. But I’ve kept the limiting belief system working as well. Haven’t fully released it, though it’s going away, I’m getting closer to a couple of these dreams I haven’t made public….
It’s time to shit or get off the pot!
Mahalo again for a great post Paige.
Thanks Jt! You’ve made some amazing dreams come true and have become a major inspiration for many people. I can’t wait to hear what your next accomplished dream is!
I love this post!
It came at the right time. I’m making a huge step in my life. I guess I’m really owning my dream!
I’ve never been happier, but I’m also very scared because of all the uncertainties that come along with it. You see, I’ve decided to to do full-time freelancing. I’m not really sure where it will take me but I’m determined and hopeful.
That’s why I love how you want us to own it!
I’m still working on my elevator speech though… 🙂
That’s awesome Glori! Congratulations! Anytime we step out of our comfort zone, there are always scary feelings (otherwise we would just feel comfortable). We never really know where anything will take us. Life is a big adventure, might as well enjoy the ride! Best of luck and email me if you would like some help with your elevator speech!
Thank you Paige!
Hi Paige,
I love this post because I am in the same boat. When I talk to people I know I somehow don’t want to promote the blog and my books. I just say I’m a teacher (which I am very proud of!). But lately I’m just starting to try out saying “…and I’m a writer.” I’ve worked on the elevator speech for my books but not my blog. I’m going to work on that. Thanks for the inspiration!!
Yes, Betsy, sounds like we’re definitely in the same boat. It’s funny that I’ve never considered myself to be a writer. When we were kids, my brother and I would laugh until we cried after reading my “creative writing” because it was so bad. After reading your comment, I think I’ll be working “I’m a writer” into my elevator speech.
Let’s keep inspiring each other!!
“I put smiles on peoples’ faces. And no, I am not a dentist, so relax” This is almost always guaranteed to put that smile on people’s faces Paige. I know it does not fully describe what I do – but now that I have their attention 😀 I can ramble. Yes. I can, too!
I’ve been in the exact same situation as you – a few years ago – as far as being online is concerned – you know, blogging. I read your totally bang-on comment over at Angela’s yesterday 🙂 and wanted to bear-hug you.
I used to be a little self-deprecating too while talking about my blogging. Not that I have or am building an online business – but I so love doing it and yet, I’d sound slight apologetic about it. Oh, I got over that quickly, but while it lasted, I didn’t feel too good about myself. Stupid, I know. Yet, there are those who have already tuned out the moment they hear “internet”, especially the ones who do not blog. I’ve discovered that the reaction is more because they do not blog, and therefore, think it is some complex “thing”… and don’t want to know about it. Fear of the unknown and what if they had to say something meaningful about something they didn’t’ know much about? 🙂 Know what I am saying?
Sigh. Finally, in spite of our communities virtual and real, we are alone when it comes to being responsible for what we want and how we’re going to achieve it. And the first step is owning up to our dreams. 😀
I just love the elevator speech concept. We used to have such fun getting the training program participants to come up with theirs – and what a wonderful learning experience that was for me as a trainer!
Hugs, Paige. I love waking up to your posts. MMuah!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Vidya! I love your elevator speech! I know I’ll get past my self-depreciation regarding my work online. Just like the evolution of my writing, it’s just a matter of time. Thanks so much for all of your support! You’re awesome!!