This post is taken from my Mindful Body program. Click the link to learn more about how this program can help you to use mindfulness to achieve the healthy, happy body you want. It’s fun! Really.
You’ve started a new program that’s going to change your life. You’re sick and tired of the way things are and, this time things are going to be different.
You feel incredibly motivated. You can’t wait to get going and see results.
The first few days or even a whole week goes by and you’re fired up, following the program and maybe starting to see your first few results.
Then reality sets in. You get busy. That fire that got you going starts to fizzle. Everything required by that new program starts to seem harder and harder to fit into your life.
You start to slip back into your old routine and decide that this program, like all the others that you’ve tried, doesn’t work.
You completely lost your motivation.
What Was Your Motivation?
What exactly was your motivation in the first place? To get in shape, lose 15 pounds, fit into that little black dress, look great at a big event?
If any of those sound like your motivation, it wasn’t enough to keep you going. You need to understand WHY those things are important to you.
If you don’t have a strong enough ‘why,’ it will be an uphill battle to stick with your new program.
Motivations that don’t work (source is outside of yourself):
- My doctor/partner/friend/kids/whoever told me that I should lose weight/improve my health.
- It would probably be good for me if I lost weight/improved my health.
- I know I should lose weight and start eating better.
- Others would more readily accept me if I was thinner.
Motivations that work in the short term (source may be outside yourself or internal):
- I want to fit into my little black dress for a big event (success depends on how important it is to impress certain people at that event).
- I want to run a certain race on a certain date (are you doing this for yourself or someone else?).
- I want to prove to someone that I can do it.
Motivations that give lasting results (source is internal and aligns with your values and beliefs):
- Heart disease runs in my family and my mother/father died at my age. I don’t want to die.
- My child came to me, knowing how unhealthy my habits are, and said in a frightened way that they didn’t want me to die. They want me around for a long time for them.
- I don’t want to be that kind of person (i.e. unhealthy, overweight, etc.) anymore. That’s no longer who I am.
- I know that my children emulate me. I don’t want them to develop the same unhealthy habits I have had that have led to my health issues.
- I want to have enough energy to play with my kids/grandkids and create amazing experiences with them.
What Is Motivation?
As defined by Wikipedia, motivation is the process used to allocate energy to maximize the satisfaction of needs.
This begs the question: What needs do you most want to satisfy?
Why is it important for you to make a change now?
How important is it to you? Not for anyone else.
If you don’t make changes now, what will your life look like in one, five or ten years? What will be different?
How will you feel if you put this off again?
How do these answers compare with your need to keep things in your life the same?
Think you don’t have time?
How much time does it take to make a choice?
Notice how you feel in the current moment and make a conscious choice about your next action. Consider whether your next action, regardless of how small, will take you closer to or farther from your goal.
Most of us run through life making unconscious choices, and we wonder why we have the results we do.
We spend time on what’s important to us.
Stop for a moment and think about where you spend your time. Do you realize that you’re making those things very valuable to you?
If you like how you feel about those thoughts, then there’s not much of a need for change.
If those thoughts are a bit of a wake-up call for you, then it’s time to be more intentional with how you spend your time.
It doesn’t take any extra time to simply make a different choice.
It’s time to find your personal motivation that will help you to make those different choices on a consistent basis, even when things get tough.
Find the Motivation That Works for You
Write down why it’s important to you to make the changes that you’re seeking right now. Write down all your reasons.
Make absolutely sure that whatever you write down makes you feel really good or really bad. This is essential!
No negatives: not, never, should, shouldn’t, can’t, won’t. No doing things to please other people. This is just for you.
Your motivation has to be a “must,” not a “should.” Why MUST you make this change NOW? No excuses. No “yeah, but…”
Must means 100% commitment. Don’t give yourself any backdoors. You’re not committed if you say anything like, “I’ll do it until…” or “I’ll keep up with it unless…”
With 100% commitment, you leave yourself no options.
“There are only two options regarding commitment; you’re either in or you’re out. There’s no such thing as life in-between.” – Pat Riley
Keep Your Motivation in Front of You
Write down your reasons for changing on six pieces of paper (six copies of the same answers) and put those pieces of paper on your:
- bathroom mirror
- refrigerator
- credit cards
- computer monitor
- bedside table
- dashboard of your car.
Find an image of your ‘why’ and use it as your screensaver and desktop image on your computer, phone and touchpads. This could be an image that conveys how you’ll feel when you’re healthy and happy and feeling amazing.
Avoid comparing yourself to others. Every body is unique. Every body is beautiful. By comparing yourself to others, especially using the comparison as ‘motivation,’ you will inevitably begin to judge yourself as better or worse than the images of others in your head.
Being mindful means having no judgments.
Judgment and self-criticism will reverse any progress you make.
As you read the pieces of paper and see the images of your ‘why’ throughout your day, feel the feelings of your ‘why.’ Visualize and feel what your life is like when you’re living how you want to live, when you’re making choices throughout your day that support your vision of the new you.
Doing this in small increments, even for a few seconds, many times throughout your day will help to reinforce your drive, your motivation.
Becoming your new you will be that much easier.
Create the life you want: Combine the law of attraction with mindfulness
The law of attraction suggests that our positive or negative thoughts bring about positive or negative experiences. My latest book, The Mindful Guide to Law of Attraction, pairs that belief with the powerful practices of mindfulness. Through intentional breathing, writing, and engaging, you’ll hone a method for manifesting health, wealth, and love―the elements of happiness.
Let the law of attraction work for you by adopting its basic steps of identifying and visualizing the things you desire. Then use 45 practical meditation techniques included in the book to achieve awareness. By concentrating your positive energy on obtaining your wants, you’ll give yourself permission to receive them.
To your happiness! ~Paige
You can find this book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, and Indigo.
The Mindful Living Guide
Thanks for the post, Paige. These days I’m feeling overwhelmed so these articles like this help me keep moving forward and give me more strength.
Positive thinking: You can’t be successful if you’re ruled by fear. positive thinking is the best way i found..
Positive thinking is definitely a big part of the puzzle, Henric. I’ve also found that there’s a big difference between thinking and believing – the difference between the strength of the conscious vs. subconscious mind to control us (the subconscious wins every time in the longer term, although it can be re-programmed).
I’ve also learned that there’s a big distinction between painting over fear with positive thinking vs. dealing with the fear straight on. Hoping the fear will go away with happy thoughts rarely works. Looking squarely into the fear and sitting with it helps to dissolve it much more quickly.
Thanks so much Patricia! Preparing to prepare used to be one of my biggies. When I finally got too tired of the frustration it created and I started taking action (even when it wasn’t perfect), my life started to change and move in the directions I wanted – finally!
Our society’s aversion to failure makes taking procrastination and not taking action more socially acceptable. Unfortunately, it’s a huge source of unhappiness for so many people.
Anyone who has been successful in anything will tell you that “failure” (aka – learning experiences) are a necessary part of the process.
Life is too short for “next time.” Go for it today!
Hi Paige,
This is a great Mindful Body Program!
I absolutely agree — “Must means 100% commitment. Don’t give yourself any back doors. You’re not committed if you say anything like, “I’ll do it until…” or “I’ll keep up with it unless…”
Sometimes we become attached to focusing on confusion as an excuse not to take that next step. Or we spend so much time “preparing to prepare” and “fixing to get ready” that we never get out of the gate. Excuses can be a huge motivator to say “I’ll focus next time”.
Great post. I’m guessing you cover this elsewhere, but even strong motivation isn’t enough – it’s also critical to have an environment that supports change. In “Switch,” Chip & Dan Heath talk about finding motivation for your “elephant” (the emotional & nonconscious self), but also:
1) shaping the “path” – creating contexts and environments for the change we seek, e.g. removing all unhealth foods from the pantry & refrigerator before starting a diet
2) directing the “rider” – giving clear purpose and activities for our rational mind to work on
Enjoy your writing & practical advice!
Yes, all that and more is included in the program. It takes a heck of a lot more than simply wanting to change to actually change.
Thanks so much for your comment!
Its weird, every post I seem to read this week seems to be about my life. Last week i wrote an article myself about motivation and how I am absolutely rubbish at keeping it! I have been trying to live a life without the 9-5 grind for 6 months now and I’m entering the ‘pain period’ and wondering if I can keep going. It’s tough!
Like you say I have to find the motivation that works best for me. I want to be able to live a normal life without giving up the time to go to an awful job. Every day is a struggle but I’m hoping I get there!
Jamie,
Given many of the words you’ve used in your comment, it sounds like you’re not 100% committed to living a life without the 9 to 5 (I’ve been trying…, wondering if I can keep going, I want to be able…, every day is a struggle, I’m hoping I get there). “Wondering if I can keep going” is giving yourself a back door, an out. These don’t exist when you’re 100% committed. Commitment means that backing out isn’t even a consideration. You only consider how to make your goal happen.
Life is hard when you’re not completely committed to something because you end up wasting tons of physical and emotional energy going back and forth on your decision. I know because I spent most of my life doing this in various aspects of my life.
After reading your latest post, it sounds like you’re 99% of the way there and you’ve come so far! Congrats!
That “pain period” is something that just about everyone goes through when setting off on a different path. This is why persistence is one of the biggest keys to success. It’s the people who persist through this period that achieve a level of success they never imagined. Jamie, I totally see you being one of those people. Keep with it!
Big Hugs!!
The title of this post put a smile on my face. I find some great tips to keep my motivation alive. Keeping your motivation in front of you is the only way to keep them alive. Your focus makes them alive.
I always love helping people smile! Thank you!
Yes, focus is what keeps everything alive, which is why it’s critically important to be mindful of what we’re focusing on all day. Whatever that thing is will inevitably grow.
Paige,
Congratulations on putting this together. What an incredible start for your Mindful Body program. Loved the definition of motivation and what is real and long lasting motivation. I’m looking forward to reading more.
Thanks Betsy! This is one small part of the 100+ page guide and there’s lots more included to help people stay motivated – in the ways that work for them.
Can’t wait to see your new book out soon too!
Big Hugs!
Wow..so much stands out to me!
This: “it will be an uphill battle to stick with your new program.” I think in general, society is conditioned to believe that commitments are a struggle, so they “expect it to be one”, not even thinking to look past surface motivation to allow the process to be one of ease and joy. When I re-framed my learning pattern to an affirmation: learning is a delightful exploration, I began to learn the “easy way”; making commitments fun instead of an obligation (I’m more likely to be present to *fun*, in general).
This: “It doesn’t take any extra time to simply make a different choice.” Wow..powerful and empowering!
And, this: “Judgment and self-criticism will reverse any progress you make”. In the past, I would become discouraged because i would feel the overwhelming weight of all that I “hadn’t yet done”, instead of celebrating he steps I had taken. Just as I would encourage another, so I am learning to encourage my self; it makes a huge difference in the overall feel of the experience!
Thank you for an awesome article; from this preview , your new program seems like a wonderful resource for those wishing to incorporate new habits/patterns 🙂
Your first point is a great one, Joy! Yes, we can definitely choose how we perceive and “take on” commitments and challenges. Before I truly learned the meaning of commitment (just a few years ago), I thought that keeping commitments was hard. But when I learned to eliminate “back doors” (if this doesn’t work out, I’ll just….), things got much easier. Instead of wasting energy in every moment wondering whether or not to stick with something (not being 100% committed), I spent my energies on how to make it work the best way possible. It also gave my mind more space to come up with more creative solutions.
Society teaches us to look forward at all we haven’t yet done or achieved. There’s always more to do. I love that you’ve learned how to celebrate all that you’ve accomplished. It’s so important in keeping that forward momentum!
Thanks so much for your awesome comment Joy!
Big Hugs!