Looking for ways to quell your anxiety or dissipate depression? Need some simple techniques to deal with other difficult emotions?
In my last post, I discussed how mindfulness can help you work through anxiety and depression. In her latest book, Peace of Mindfulness: Everyday Rituals to Conquer Anxiety and Claim Unlimited Inner Peace, Barrie Davenport shows you, step by step, how to work mindfulness into your busy schedule and allow it to work its magic on your emotional and physical pains.
Working from her own personal experiences and those of her clients, Barrie has written an incredibly useful guide for implementing mindfulness throughout your day.
Each time I’ve read it, I’ve gained new insights into how I’m interpreting the world and how those stories are keeping me from achieving the outcomes I desire. I’ve come away with new ideas for changes I’m implementing to increase the joy and happiness in my life.
In The Beginning
“The purpose of this book is to give you some tools to win back control of your thoughts and emotions so that you can release anxiety and fear to enjoy a richer, healthier, more conscious life.”
The book begins with some definitions of mindfulness and how it contrasts with the usual mindlessness of our days.
You begin to understand how much of your days are filled with thoughts tied to your interpretations of the past or stories you’re making up about the future.
You see the power of bringing yourself back into the present moment.
“Mindfulness is a practice, not a destination. The journey of daily practice is the destination. As with any practice, the more you work at it, the more proficient you become.”
Barrie acknowledges that you probably don’t live in a cave or monastery so being mindful 24/7 is practically impossible. Everyone gets distracted much of the day. That’s OK. You’re human.
The point of the book is to show you how to sneak a little mindfulness into almost everything you do.
Daily Meditation
Yes, you’re going to hear it again: Daily meditation is pretty darned powerful.
Like many other aspects of a mindfulness practice, you can barely feel the difference each day. You wonder if it’s really worth it. And just when you’re about to give up, something happens in your day and you notice that you handled it differently, with more ease. You felt calmer. That’s your mindfulness and meditation practice paying off.
The book takes you through the basic steps of beginning your own meditation practice. Being realistic, it also acknowledges that your monkey mind will drive you crazy with thoughts of the past and future.
The monkey makes it difficult to sit still for any period of time. You can train that little rogue, just like a dog. Barrie helps with that too.
Visualization
Visualization has been used for decades to enhance performance for top athletes. It’s the process of seeing and feeling all the detailed steps that lead to a desired outcome in your mind before physically acting them out.
This can be applied to any aspect of your life: work, relationships, dealing with illness or stress, artistic endeavors, etc.
Barrie walks you through the specific steps to use visualization to transform negative outcomes into positive ones. This process also relieves your mind of the worry, anxiety or depression about an unknown future by empowering you to create the future you want.
“Visualization is a creative method for being fully present while defining and picturing the future. It is carefully crafted, highly focused daydreaming with specific intent.”
Mindful Fitness
The type of physical activity that’s good for you is the one that you’ll actually do on a regular basis.
So many people associate exercise with a variety of negatives that make it mentally, and therefore physically, difficult to practice. What if you could change your feelings about exercise by changing the way you approach it?
What if exercise were simply another opportunity to practice mindfulness?
“Once you remove judgment, attachments, and fear from the equation, fitness can be something to look forward to rather than an obligation you dread.”
As an expert in developing new habits (check out her book: Sticky Habits and her Sticky Habits course), Barrie shows you the steps to create a new fitness habit that works with your schedule and your needs.
While any activity can be practiced mindfully, she discusses yoga (my favorite), ballet, tai chi and qigong more specifically.
Mindful Journaling
Although there are many ways that technology has made our lives a little better, I’m a firm believer that journaling is not one of them.
For me, writing articles and pieces meant for others is easier on a computer. But when I journal or otherwise process thoughts and emotions for myself, a pen and paper are the only way to go.
Whenever I’ve tried to journal on a computer, my thoughts remain blocked. But the process of physically writing out the words on paper seems to pull the thoughts through my mind, allowing me to see them in a new light. It allows my brain and my heart to work together to move me past the usual loops I get caught in. I gain new insights, seemingly out of nowhere.
“Committing to a practice of daily journaling will help you harness the chattering “monkey mind” and detach from your thoughts and feelings as you release them on to your page.”
There are no right or wrong ways to journal. In the book, Barrie reviews the details of a variety of approaches like:
- Morning Pages from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way: Writing three pages of stream of consciousness every morning
- Passion journaling: Throughout your day, notice and write about things that make you feel great
- Gratitude journaling: Every day, write about every little thing you’re grateful for. I’ve filled a few notebooks with this type of journaling. Each day, I challenge myself to list at least ten things I’m grateful for, without repeating anything I’ve written previously. Some days it’s hard to come up with ten. Other days I go on for pages. And I always feel better when I’m done.
- Meditation journaling: Keep notes about what you notice during your meditation practice. It may be difficult to notice how the practice helps unless you notice and record the daily nuances.
Mindfulness Every Day
“How can you be happy now when there’s so much to worry about? How can you be happy, even when you really want to, when you feel so darned tired, overwhelmed and stressed out? There is only one way, and that is to practice presence in everything you do. You don’t need to fix or change anything. Just be present.”
It’s impossible to be mindful all the time. Life gets crazy and things go sideways. There’s too much that you can’t control.
A mindfulness practice sprinkled throughout your day can help to bring you back to your center. It can help you to focus on what’s truly important. It can help you break the attachments you were previously unaware of that created so much pain for you.
Many people won’t start something new because they fear they can’t be perfect at it. I love how Barrie is always gentle, knowing where you’ll drift back into mindlessness and tenderly bringing you back to a more mindful state.
“You’re giving yourself permission to release your grasp on the past and the future, in the unconscious hope you can alter or control them. Now you acknowledge the illusory nature of everything except this moment, which is perfect.”
Create the life you want: Combine the law of attraction with mindfulness
The law of attraction suggests that our positive or negative thoughts bring about positive or negative experiences. My latest book, The Mindful Guide to Law of Attraction, pairs that belief with the powerful practices of mindfulness. Through intentional breathing, writing, and engaging, you’ll hone a method for manifesting health, wealth, and love―the elements of happiness.
Let the law of attraction work for you by adopting its basic steps of identifying and visualizing the things you desire. Then use 45 practical meditation techniques included in the book to achieve awareness. By concentrating your positive energy on obtaining your wants, you’ll give yourself permission to receive them.
To your happiness! ~Paige
You can find this book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, and Indigo.
The Mindful Living Guide
Thanks for sharing such an amazing post! Each day’s effort should be moving you closer towards your long-term vision and plan for your life. You need to know WHAT you are doing all of this for and be moving towards the bigger picture for your life.
Exactly Merlene! So many folks have never stopped to envision their “why,” their future, the vision of what they want. Without that, it’s easy to feel lost in life.
I totally agree. I have tried to do meditation and yoga to calm my anxiety. I suffer from General Anxiety disorder. It has not been easy, with all the routine and the daily worries. But it is necessary to simply slow down and focus in the present.
For those in the midst of depression or anxiety, these practices fall into the “simple but not always easy” category. They’re powerful and effective, when practiced regularly. It sounds like you’ve discovered this too, Noel.
The more you practice when things are better, the more effective their benefits will be when times get rough.
Thank you for the intro to this book and Barrie Davenport. I meditate for 10 mins and breathe throughout the day when I remember. Recently, making my morning cup of tea has become a mindful ritual.
Those are great practices Madeleine! Barrie actually has a whole chapter in her book on the mindful practice of making and drinking tea. It’s wonderful!
I practice mindfulness in the morning walks I take with my dog. Positive affirmations, sometimes aloud while breathing in the fresh air, looking and feeling the sun and the activity set my day. I also try to meditate daily. I am so looking forward to the opportunity of winning a copy of this book!!!
Those are some wonderful daily practices, Sara! I actually feel a bit more peaceful after reading your comment. 🙂
I was quite excited to hear of the book that is being offered, ‘Peace and Mindfulness’ and the contents as described. I have been a huge fan of mindfulness and particularly gratitude – the gift that keeps on giving! I use mindfulness and gratitude in my work as a social worker therapist particularly in my work with sex offenders individually and in group work. The book appears invaluable to ‘give tools to win back control of your thoughts and emotions to release anxiety and fear.’ The men that I work with who have victimized individuals are struggle deeply with shame and guilt that interacts with anxiety and fear. The curriculum touches on victim impact, cognitive restructuring, relapse prevention, etc. but the use of mindfulness and gratitude is a piece that I add that truly gets to the center of their hurt. Another great piece of mindfulness is the concept that ‘light is what makes vision possible’ – a reminder that the most important light is the light within us – and in a time of darkness (namely the evils of the world that can trip us up and lose that ‘vision’ of preventing relapse – it is important to keep that light within us shining. In essence with helping them with gratitude journaling, visualization, gratitude -even with the simple aspects of life like the air we breathe – we can realize that the light will always follow the darkness. I would be honored to receive one of your copies as an adjunct in what I do and am excited about. If nothing else I can always order it. Thank you though for offering this book and making us aware of it. Alan Fabel
Alan,
I love how you so beautifully and powerfully incorporate mindfulness and gratitude in your practice. It’s obvious that you can see their power with anyone in any situation. Many blessings to you in all the work you do!
Thank you Paige for your reply and comments along with the recent posting. Although the curriculum we use is very good and nationally recognized, there is not a lot that gets to the core as mindfulness, gratitude, etc. does. It is a long haul in having to work on changing the automatic thoughts and responses but those who are truly wanting to make change mindfulness concepts have been very helpful in how they see and feel about themselves. It can be a powerful transformation especially since we have at least a few years to work with them. Thank you again.
Agreed, Alan. The changes that occur with a mindfulness practice are usually gradual but definitely worth the patience and persistence. Keep up the great work!
When I get a fortune cookie with a fortune that hits a note with me, I keep it. I have several taped to my desk top to remind me of them. I also make sure I am fully present for those with home I am interacting with at the time–phone is down, I turn away from my computer, I don’t take calls while I am talking with them.
Love the idea with the fortune cookie Paula! Have you tried journaling about why the messages hit a note with you?
Being present for others can be so calming and can strengthen the bond with the other person. I learned this from my children. Everything stops for them.
Thanks for helping me see the reality of life. Paying rent on the past and fortune telling the future gave me little time to appreciate the present. It’s been a really life-changing experience. Your guidance on mindfulness was what I needed to experience a happier and healthier life.
“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” Good to know.
I hope I get one of the free books!
Cathy,
I love how you phrased it: Paying rent on the past and fortune telling the future. That’s a great way of describing it! Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your journey!
I have spent many years in vain waiting for others to change….. Of course, that didn’t work. I have only lately been trying to re invent my life to make “ME” be happy. I believe this book could be such a helpful tool to me to help live happier & healthier!! I hope I will be chosen !! I also look forward to checking out the new web sites
Kathy Leopold
It’s a pretty powerful shift to go from expecting others to change to opening your heart and allowing you to change. You’re on a great path Kathy!
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for the opportunity to win this book. I incorporate mindfulness before each change in activity, saying “slowdown and breathe”, as it helps me be in whatever moment I am in at the time. 🙂
I love that Sandra! Taking advantage of the pause is so often overlooked as we race from one thing to another. This is a great idea and opportunity to set an intention for the next activity.
Mindful acceptance has helped me recognize that much of my life’s unhappiness comes when I’d rather focus on how I want things to be, and the Mindful antidote to it is accepting that things are as they are and I’ll fare better by facing and embracing that fact.
When anxiety hits, stopping what I’m doing, closing my eyes, breathing, and focusing my mind on the moment has done me worlds of good. Thank you for this wonderful web site and newsletter.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with acceptance, David! Resistance to “what is” and clinging to what “should be” can create so much heartache. Acceptance and gratitude melt all that away. Blessings to you!
I have an essential oil blend that I spray on each morning while repeating one of five intentions that I have been working on. I am nearing my objective of using the oil blend to immediately bring the intentions to mind when needed.
That’s a great idea Rita! Scents are so powerful in bringing up thoughts and emotions. They can also be great triggers for things when we program them consciously.
I have incorporated Mindfulness in my life everyday through practicing meditation, driving mindfully, acknowledging and expressing gratitude for what I have and everything that surrounds me. Mindfulness has changed the way I react and respond to things that happen … taking a moment to pause, breathe and then be in the present moment.
Sounds like a great practice, Ellyce! I have also experienced the massive benefits of sprinkling a little gratitude throughout my day.
I’m really conscious of being mindful first thing in the morning before the house wakes up. Stepping into the moment.
First thing in the morning is a great time to create a consistent practice. Thanks Stella!
Thanks for the giveaway!
This book looks great — I’m going to check it (and Sticky Habits) out.
I forgot to write — I try to work mindfulness into my yoga practice (which is several times a week) as well as my walk to and from work.
Those are great times to stop and notice, Ann. Thanks!