I did it to see what kinds of resistances would come up. That old “not good enough, you don’t deserve it” devil emerged. I continue to struggle with eradicating that one. My conscious mind knows it’s BS but my subconscious monkey mind just doesn’t want to let go of it. If anyone has any ideas on that one, I would love to hear them.
Instead of struggling with the same old resistances, I reframed my request. I want what I think $1 million will create in my life. I want the lifestyle and ways of feeling I would have with $1 million. That’s a deeper question.
Why would I want $1 million?
We all say we want more money but we rarely ask why we want more money.
What would we do with it? Do we think it will make us happier?
I know that having more stuff will definitely NOT make me happier. Been there, done that. I’m still purging.
More money will allow me more flexibility in choosing how I spend my days. I would spend less time on chores, errands and more mundane tasks by hiring some fabulous assistants.
On the mental and emotional side, I’m already choosing to spend my days worrying about not accomplishing enough. Suddenly I don’t think that more money would change this.
More money will allow me to travel the world. Actually I could travel the world today. I would just have to get a little more creative in how I did it. I’ve already travelled locally and internationally with very little money and had a blast!
More money will give me peace of mind. That’s a common thing that I hear people say but what does it really mean? How could something truly intangible give me peace of mind? Sure, pieces of money are tangible but the intrinsic value of the paper and coins is negligible.
So this statement is actually saying that I would have enough money in the bank to cover any catastrophe that came up. OK, that’s true. But not having all that money in the bank isn’t keeping me up at night.
When fears start to creep up on me, I like to play the worst scenario game. Instead of allowing the fear to take a hold of me and leave me paralyzed, I have a conversation with it. I act like the toddler who asks “why” constantly, replacing the “why” with “and then what?” I allow the worst case scenario to play out in front of me in my mind. Every time I ask myself “and then what?,” I make myself think of something worse. I call the end of the game when I can’t think of anything worse or the next thing would be my death.
From that lowest of low points, I then devise ways of dealing with it and turning it around. I don’t try to stop it or turn it around until I can’t think of anything worse.
Funny thing is that, when I play this game over anything related to money, it’s never that bad and many of the circumstances I dream up are things I’ve already experienced. I lived through it and learned some valuable lessons.
Back to the concept that money buys peace of mind. Totally bogus. I make the choice to have peace of mind regardless of my financial situation because I know that I have what it takes within me to handle, overcome and learn from any situation.
I could look at all of this and say that I don’t really need the $1 million because I already have all that I want and need.
Or I could say that my monkey mind is using this as a rationalization and way of convincing me that I don’t deserve the $1 million and all that it could provide and that I only deserve what I have today.
Looking beyond the self
Why do I want $1 million? I have everything I need. I have my health, my family and friends and more than enough food, water, clothing, shelter and other stuff. I know that I have the capacity to handle anything that comes my way.
I guess $1 million would just be some nice icing on the cake for me. I could pay off my mortgage and have true financial independence. Yes, that would be nice.
A better question might be: How could $1 million help me to accomplish my mission of impacting millions of people and improving their lives? That’s a different question. It creates a whole different feeling. Something much more expansive.
It could buy me the means of getting there faster and probably more effectively. Sure, a lot of hard work, creativity and hustle will definitely get me there but the $1 million makes it happen faster by opening doors more quickly and allowing me to pay for assistance along the way. It would allow me to focus my time better.
How would $1 million affect my life?
I would feel a little more at ease for having financial independence. I would definitely continue to pursue my passions and generate income from those passions because $1 million doesn’t go that far these days.
I would have a little more time freedom to pursue my mission and passion with abandon. I’m already making some time to do this so more money may increase this quite a bit.
It wouldn’t make me happy because being happy is my choice and it comes from inside me. If I went crazy buying things or doing things with the money, the resulting happiness would be fleeting. It’s the everyday happiness inside that really counts.
It wouldn’t cure my impatience. Actually, I think that might get worse because I would feel that I really had no excuse to make everything happen now. They say that money only magnifies our good or bad qualities. Obviously I have some work to do here.
What would $1 million do for you?
So many people think that $1 million would radically change their lives. While it may change your outer world, it can’t do much to change your inner world. That’s a conscious decision to be made without regards to money. That’s something you can do right now.
How would $1 million affect your life? Don’t just give the pat answers that generally say that life would be better.
See yourself sitting wherever you would be sitting with more money, looking out the window reflecting on your life.
Are you happy with yourself?
Are you happy with how you’re spending your time?
Does your life have more meaning?
What does the additional money do to your ability to impact on the world? your community? your family? you?
Learn how I manage three little kids, a husband, job, writing and taking care of myself - all with mindfulness. Check out my latest guest appearance: a podcast interview at Manifested Happiness: How To Be Mindful When You're Too Busy
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