I’m having lunch with a friend and we start talking about some of her clients. She and I share certain beliefs that many of her clients don’t share. As we started off on a rant in the vein of, “Can you believe these people?” I stopped myself.
I asked, “Who made me God?” Who made me the almighty authority of what everyone in the world should believe on this (or any) topic. Who made me the one, right supreme being with all the answers?
I stopped the conversation in its tracks.
We’re all taught to speak kindly of others, use our words with integrity, speak no evil, be impeccable with our word. How often do we violate this basic tenant? It’s so easy to do.
We like to be right. It makes us feel good. It bolsters our ego. We feel like we belong and we’re accepted when we’re with other people who have similar beliefs.
But that’s all they are – beliefs.
Even our concepts of God (by whatever name you would like to use) are just beliefs. And there are so many different ones.
Does it really matter if we’re right or not? In the grand scheme of things, what difference does it really make?
What are the results of being right? Other than the more beneficial ones I mentioned above, we also get to alienate ourselves from others who have different beliefs.
A few years ago I got into an argument with my father. Basically, he didn’t like how I chose to live certain aspects of my life. He was condemning me for not living my life the way he wanted. I told him that I had made the choice to not be around negative, limiting people. When I asked him whether he would rather be right or see his daughter and grandchildren again, he flat out said, “I would rather be right.” I couldn’t believe it but I accepted it.
Being right about beliefs is what wars and terrorism are based on. Really, what’s the point?
Accepting others for who and what they are is a very hard thing to do when their beliefs don’t line up with yours. Why?
Because we subconsciously feel that people with different beliefs are somehow threatening to our own beliefs. We can’t all be right. Right?
Has someone close to you decided to change something about their lifestyle (moving to a healthier diet, living a simpler/minimalist lifestyle, exercising more, following their passion in a very big way, etc.)? How did you greet that change?
Did you openly or under your breath say that the changes will never stick, the ideas are crazy or some other negative, unsupportive idea? If so, why?
On a subconscious level we feel that if others close to us change, our beliefs about those people will no longer be right. Their changes will make us question our own beliefs about ourselves and suddenly everything is subject to questioning. And that’s scary.
It’s easier and safer to keep the status quo.
What if we decided that everyone is right? Accept whatever beliefs anyone has? Understand that it really doesn’t matter what anyone else believes?
Each person’s unique beliefs are a result of that person’s life experiences and how they have interpreted those experiences.
Everyone’s beliefs are as real to them as their experiences.
So where have you declared yourself God and decided what is right and wrong?
What would happen if you gave up being right and just accepted the people and situations as they are?
I just found my new favorite mindfulness app: Chill. It's just what I need in the middle of a hectic day to remind me that all is well in this moment and to simply breathe. You can set it to give you up to five reminders a day to be mindful like:
"Take a moment to think of someone you love. Feel that love inside you. Sit silently with that feeling for a moment."
"Feel the silence inside you. Feel how expansive that silence is. You're as vast as the sky."
"You are right here, right now. Don't let your thoughts tell you otherwise. Breathe in this moment."
Chill also provides beautiful daily quotes from Buddha, Lao Tzu and other Zen masters on a backdrop of a peaceful image. With a touch of a button you can also share these quotes via text, email and all the social sites. The app's curator is a Buddhist ordained in the tradition of Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh. The quotes are based in Buddhist ideas of mindfulness but come from many traditions. They speak about the challenges we all face, and how to mindfully center ourselves in the midst of modern life.
It's free or $1.99 if you want to get rid of the little ads at the bottom. It works on iOS and Apple Watch. You can find out more or download the app HERE.
What if the only thing between you and the answers you're looking for is the right question? The kind of question that can instantly cut through years of confusion, is worth a thousand words of advice, connects you to the wisdom of your heart and unlocks the truth inside you.
What is the right question? You can find yours somewhere in your deck of Inquiry Cards.
Each Inquiry Card - each question - is an opening to insight, intuition, intention, integrity, inspiration, inner compass, introspection, instinct, inner vision, involvement, integration, innate intelligence, intimacy and infinite possibilities.
It all begins with Inquiry. Because the answers are inside you.
I am loving my deck of Inquiry Cards! I've been using them for the past couple months. They come with a beautiful wooden stand where you can place the card/question that you're focusing on. Simply seeing the card on the stand on my desk reminds me to pause, take a deep breath and spend a moment asking my True Self the question and being open to whatever answers arise.
Have you been trying to start or maintain a meditation practice but life keeps getting in the way? I'm there with you - and I found a solution: Daily Meditation Videos delivered to your inbox every morning. They've been gently nudging me each day to take just a few minutes in the middle of my day to stop and breathe. The creator has done the hard part of culling great guided meditation videos from YouTube and delivering them to you in a simple, beautifully designed email. All you have to do is click, listen, relax and breathe.
The Mindful Body program includes many ideas that you can use every day to avoid gaining extra weight while keeping your energy and spirits high. It’s also a great gift to share with the special people in your life.