Is your life going the way you’ve always wanted? If you’re like most of us, the answer is ‘no.’ While I’ve had a fairly good life, I’ve also weathered many storms. I’ve dealt with a lot of crap, sometimes the same crap over and over with escalating consequences until I finally learned the lessons.
I’ve maintained a comfortably uncomfortable existence for prolonged periods of time until I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew something had to change.
I usually started by believing that things around me had to change in order for me to be happy. That old “I’ll be happy when…” that never comes. I pushed and forced and tried to control everything and everyone around me making myself and everyone around me more angry, frustrated and resentful.
After some time, in each situation, I would finally run out of energy and do what felt like giving up. I would start to focus on something else or just coast for a little while to regain my strength. And that’s usually when the magic happened. Things would generally move in the direction I wanted when I stopped trying to control, when I stopped resisting the way things were.
Everything meaningful starts with a baby step. Usually, the first baby step is noticing what’s going on with yourself today. Right now. Noticing:
- What, how and when you eat (this affects a lot more than your waistline)
- How you hold yourself
- How much tension is in various parts of your body right now (face, neck, jaw, shoulders, arms, back and legs)
- How you spend your valuable time (something you can never get back)
- Your thoughts at any given moment
- Your emotions right now
The next step is to think about where you want to go, your goals. Think about them in very specific terms. What will your life be like on a day-to-day basis when you have achieved these goals?
- What time will you get up?
- What will you have for breakfast?
- Who will be there with you?
- What will you do each day?
- Where will you live?
- How will you dress?
- What will you eat and drink throughout the day?
- What kinds of exercise will you enjoy?
- How will you respond to the various people and situations in your day?
Now think of one small step you can take today, maybe right now. What is one thing you can easily do toward your goal?
- Clean the junk food out of your pantry.
- Choose water instead of a soda.
- Sign up for an exercise class or call to get more information.
- Take a half of a second to think before responding to someone the same old way.
- Take a walk at lunch.
- Google a topic you’ve always wanted to learn more about.
- Forgive yourself and/or someone else in your life.
- Read one chapter of a book you’ve been meaning to get to.
Write out a list of more baby steps you can take later today, tomorrow, the next day and each day for the rest of your life. Like the saying goes, “Life is a journey, not a destination.”
Notice how you feel as you take each step.
Notice how your life is changing for the better.
Find other people who want to join you on your journey. Yes, they’re out there.
My goal is to support you every step of the way, providing ideas and encouragement for you to live the life you’ve always wanted.
Just like babies taking their first steps, sometimes we need some help and sometimes we fall down. Just like a baby does, get up and keep trying until you’ve mastered that step. We’ve all been there before and know how hard it can be. The most important step is to decide to take that first step.
Don’t get upset if you deviate from your intended destination. Sometimes diversions lead to more exciting places and experiences. Sometimes plans change. Be flexible. Be open to new experiences. And tell me all about them!
Congratulations on taking your first baby step today!
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The Mindful Living Guide
So true. I just don’t have the personality but making big changes. It’s amazing how you can look back after a few months and see what’s changed just by taking those baby steps, though. We’re slowly decluttering our home and lives. No major changes at any one time required, no weekends full of big projects, just a little at a time. Same thing for losing (and keeping off) 25 lbs.
By taking baby steps, instead of individual big actions, you change your habits. When you change your habits, you can’t help but change the outcome over time.
Going on a diet (individual big action) usually doesn’t change your habits. You suppress your habits for a period of time, all the while, pining for the day you can return to your old habits – the ones that put the extra weight on you in the first place. If you resume your old habits after the diet is over, you can’t help but resume your old body and weight.
This is the biggest reason behind the lasting success of taking baby steps.
Lots of great projects you’re working on there Christy! Best wishes with all of them!
Now I believe you about being twin sisters in another life. I’ve gone through the exact same process and realized that the stress and tension blocked the good stuff. The moment I eased up, it was like letting the doors open and letting in positive things. Oh, but it does take effort, depending on the state of mind we are in at the time.
Great post – and I like the tips, because I know they work!
Exactly Vidya!
Stress = fear and fear blocks all the good stuff. Letting go = love which makes everything happen!
Deciding to take that first baby step is the hardest part. Actually doing it is much easier. So just decide today.
“Just like babies taking their first steps, sometimes we need some help and sometimes we fall down. Just like a baby does, get up and keep trying until you’ve mastered that step. ”
Amazing post! It’s also important to not be scornful over the small step; We are usually perfectionists who want to do everything at once, and are being judgmental if we just cannot do everything!
One step at a time it is…
You’re right on Maria!
We are usually so focused on the future and what we haven’t achieved/completed yet that we sabotage our future success with our disappointment. By being mindful of what we’re doing now and appreciating all the baby steps we’ve taken (which are usually much more than we realize), we can face the future with a much happier frame of mind and, therefore, accomplish even more.